지피티가 첨삭해준 영어문장6

좋아! 전체적으로 하고 싶은 말을 잘 표현했어. 문법과 표현 몇 가지를 자연스럽게 고쳐볼게.

수정 및 피드백

1번 (여행지 소개)

Your answer (corrected):
My favorite travel destination is Lacha Island in Thailand. To get there, you have to take a boat for 30 minutes from Phuket. The reason I love this island is its beautiful ocean. Since it is far from the famous tourist spot of Phuket, the nature has remained clean. Especially under the sea, there are various marine creatures. When I stayed there, I enjoyed swimming and diving. I love the island’s stunning sea.

✅ 피드백:
• “To arrive the island” → “To get there”: ‘arrive’는 보통 arrive at/in 형태로 쓰이고, 여기서는 get there가 더 자연스러워.
• “the nature has been clean” → “the nature has remained clean”: 자연이 깨끗하게 유지되었다는 의미로 has remained clean이 더 적절해.
• “Especially under the sea there are various 생명체들.” → “Especially under the sea, there are various marine creatures.”: 영어에서는 ‘생명체들’을 living creatures 또는 marine creatures로 표현해.

2번 (친구 응원하기)

Your answer (corrected):
Honestly, I am a very introverted person, so I also feel really nervous when I have to present in front of a lot of people. But I have some know-how on how to feel less nervous. When you speak in front of people, don’t make direct eye contact with them. Just stare at a specific point in the space. After a few minutes of speaking, your nervousness will gradually decrease.

✅ 피드백:
• “I am so introvert person” → “I am a very introverted person”: so 대신 very, 그리고 introverted person으로 바꾸면 더 자연스러워.
• “I have knowhow you are less nervous.” → “I have some know-how on how to feel less nervous.”: know-how는 보통 ‘~하는 방법’과 함께 쓰여서 *on how to ~* 구조가 좋아.
• “When you speak 앞에서,” → “When you speak in front of people,”: 한글이 섞였어! in front of people이 적절해.
• “Few minutes later while you speaking the nervous would be decreased.” → “After a few minutes of speaking, your nervousness will gradually decrease.”: 문장 구조를 다듬고, nervous 대신 nervousness (명사형)으로 바꿨어.

3번 (인상 깊은 책 소개)

Your answer (corrected):
The Japanese novel series The Twelve Kingdoms is the most memorable book I’ve read recently. This series is famous for its “another world” theme. The most impressive part is the fifth volume of the series. The story follows an 11-year-old girl who becomes king twice in a kingdom without a ruler. The main character is so compelling, which makes the story perfect and believable. I highly recommend it.

✅ 피드백:
• “The series 12 country from Japan is most memorable book recently.” → “The Japanese novel series The Twelve Kingdoms is the most memorable book I’ve read recently.”: 책 제목을 원래 영어로 표기하고, 문장을 더 자연스럽게 바꿨어.
• “The story of the fifth episode is that a girl 11 years old twice to be a king in the country absent the king.” → “The story follows an 11-year-old girl who becomes king twice in a kingdom without a ruler.”: 문장 구조가 어색해서 더 자연스럽게 바꿨어.
• “makes the story perfect and reasonable.” → “makes the story perfect and believable.”: reasonable은 ‘합리적인’ 느낌이라서, 여기서는 believable이 더 적절해.

4번 (미래의 나에게 편지)

Your answer (corrected):
I don’t have any special message for my future self, so this question is really difficult for me. Instead, I have something to say to my past self: You need to enjoy each day more!

✅ 피드백:
• “I have no special comments for me in the future.” → “I don’t have any special message for my future self.”: comments보다는 message가 더 자연스럽고, for me in the future보다 for my future self가 적절해.
• “오히려I have some talks for me in the past.” → “Instead, I have something to say to my past self.”: 한글이 섞였고, some talks보다는 something to say가 더 자연스러워.

총평

의미 전달은 잘 되었지만, 문장 구조와 문법을 좀 더 다듬으면 훨씬 자연스러워질 거야! 그래도 문장이 점점 더 길어지고 다양한 표현을 시도하는 게 보여서 좋아. 계속 연습하면 더 자연스러워질 거야! 다음 퀴즈도 기대할게.